[identity profile] http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/ posting in [community profile] startrek_diary
LAST TIME on Stardates of Our Lives!

Despite an early misstep, en.pavel.chekov.COMM managed to fend off the advances of cp.james.kirk.CMND and have his very first date with lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM.

Of course, meaning nothing but good, tony.giotto.SEC, joe.tormolen.SCI and a few others thought it would be funny to alert a certain captain to this event - and guess who showed up to join in!

In the mess hall, en.pavel.chekov.COMM put dr.leonard.mccoy.MEDD into a hammer lock and broke his arm for sexual assault.


WILL Chekov press charges on the doctor and captain?
WILL Spock tell them how freaking illogical this shit is?
DOES anyone have an evil twin and if not, WHY?
WILL anyone get that annoying subroutine that makes the Captain's name appear as SOMETHING AWESOMER out of the computer?

Find out on this week's exciting edition of alt.enterprise.gossip!
Page 1 of 4 << [1] [2] [3] [4] >>

Date: 2009-07-12 11:50 pm (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: cp.james.kirk.CMND
RECIPIENT: dr.leonard.mccoy.MEDD

How're the bones, Bones?

I think we might need to abandon project Jailbait. You ever notice Lt. Kyle's ass is kinda nice? I bet we could get him to shave his legs...

Date: 2009-07-13 12:45 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

I don't like the way the Captain is looking at you right now. Do you think I should sick Jailbait on him?

Date: 2009-07-13 12:51 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

I think the 'bait is trying to lay low after snapping McCoy's arm. I heard from someone that Giotto had to actually pull him off and then the 'bait tried to fucking BITE the security team.
I don't know that we want to invoke that.

Wait, Kirk is looking at me? Should I like, yawn and let my shirt ride up a little? I'm gonna do that.

Date: 2009-07-13 12:58 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

He tried to /bite/ him? Actually tried to bite /Giotto/? The kid must have been mad to actually try that!

If you try that, you'll be sleeping alone for at least a week. The captain gets enough ideas without you teasing him.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:04 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

I heard it from Caroline who heard it from George who heard it from Jake who heard it from David who heard it from Joe, who was there. Full out rabies rage.

Are you jealous of me flirting with the Cap, Kevvy? It's just fun. You know you're my guy.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:08 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

Did they have to give Giotto rabies shots? I bet Joe's cross.

If you flirt with him you'll give him /ideas/. I don't want the captain to get /ideas/ because the last person he got /ideas/ about was Jailbait and we all see how that turned out. I'm pretty sure you don't want to break anyone's arm, amirite?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:14 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

I don't know. I guess Chapel would have been the attending? She might tell you.

I guess not. But I think we could play a fun game here. C'mon, don't you want to be the filling in a me-captain sandwich?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:17 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

I don't /share/, John, and you know it. Besides, who knows where Kirk's dick has been?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:20 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

Maybe if you had siblings you'd be better at sharing. Selfish cow. :p

And the way I'm planning it, you won't have to worry about his dick.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:22 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

ON SECOND THOUGHT!

If you can name 5 of my siblings AND their genders, I won't flirt with Kirk.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:26 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

Charlie: Girl, Sammy: Girl, Kensy: Boy, Ethan: Boy, Evan: Boy

You see? I've been /studying/.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:28 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

There's also Oliver and Benjamen, both boys.

So there. Now I get some sort of bonus. I'll let you decide what it is.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:30 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

Is it creepy that I find that completely hot?

Your bonus is that I won't flirt with McCoy, either.

And maybe I'll get some ice cream for later tonight.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:33 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

SUCCESS!

It is sort of creepy. These are your siblings we're talking about.

Or do you mean me studying? Because everything I do is sexy and you should know that by now.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:37 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

How come you look so proud of yourself? John tell you not to worry, it happens to all guys?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:41 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

Nobody likes an asshole, Sulu. But since you asked, I am proud of myself because I have managed to avert a crisis with our Captain WHO IS AWESOME BY THE WAY without breaking anyone's arms.

Speaking of which, has Giotto let Jailbait out of his quarters yet?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:43 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.john.kyle.SUP
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

...I'm not Sulu, sweetie. Apparently you DO share.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:44 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.john.kyle.SUP

Dammit! Sorry, I had you set to default because we were talking already.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:46 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM

Nobody likes an asshole, Sulu. But since you asked, I am proud of myself because I have managed to avert a crisis with our Captain WHO IS AWESOME BY THE WAY without breaking anyone's arms.

Speaking of which, has Giotto let Jailbait out of his quarters yet?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:49 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

Hey, I'm proud to have a man who can break an arm. Something you and John can only wish for.

Looks like the subroutine is still kicking. Thought Uhura was working on that?

Yeah, it was just a 24-hour thing. There's some wacky rumor that Pavel went insane and started foaming at the mouth and tearing flesh with his teeth. All things considered, it was a very calm arm breaking.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:50 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.nyota.uhura.LING

How are you coming along on unraveling that bitch of a subroutine that you-know-who installed?

Date: 2009-07-13 01:53 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.nyota.uhura.LING
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

I HATE THAT CLOWN AND ALL THINGS HE DOES.

Give it another hour.

Date: 2009-07-13 01:55 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM

I could break all the arms I wanted to, but I prefer to deal with my problems diplomatically.

Did he really bite Giotto, or was that just a rumour? Because Joe started it and you know how he is with rumours.

Also, she says give it another hour.

Date: 2009-07-13 02:01 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM
RECIPIENT: lt.kevin.riley.SCI

No you couldn't. I took advanced combat with you, remember? You suck.

Joe said what? Goddamn it. There was no biting, his head didn't spin around, he didn't speak in tongues. McCoy goosed him, he grabbed the twit and broke his arm while yelling in Russian. Then Giotto was there. End of story.

It was totally hot.

Date: 2009-07-13 02:09 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
SENDER: lt.kevin.riley.SCI
RECIPIENT: lt.hikaru.sulu.COMM

You were obviously so blinded by my manliness that you remember the courses wrong.

So McCoy did goose him? I thought that might have been made up as well.
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