new game: ENTERPRISE PRON
Nov. 15th, 2009 03:45 pm![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/ posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
startrek_diaryALRIGHT KIDS
We made it over 5000 comments on the last HSAU, and my mind if fucking blown.
So I bring you a side game: PRONS
On an Enterprise where they are actualy mature, military beings, no one is fucking anyone else. But they have to get their jollies somewhere, right? So. Our guys ALL write fanfic.
About each other.
Life goes on normally until one day when some kind of freak electrical mishap fries the file system.
So now everyone can read all the porn on the system. No one knows who wrote what.
Here is your mission: Show me the terrible, awesome and kinda hilarious porn they write. And then... show me reactions.
PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
We made it over 5000 comments on the last HSAU, and my mind if fucking blown.
So I bring you a side game: PRONS
On an Enterprise where they are actualy mature, military beings, no one is fucking anyone else. But they have to get their jollies somewhere, right? So. Our guys ALL write fanfic.
About each other.
Life goes on normally until one day when some kind of freak electrical mishap fries the file system.
So now everyone can read all the porn on the system. No one knows who wrote what.
Here is your mission: Show me the terrible, awesome and kinda hilarious porn they write. And then... show me reactions.
PLEASE AND THANK YOU.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 08:51 pm (UTC)"Oh, Carrie," Tony breathed. "You're so beautiful and wonderful."
Caroline nodded because it was true, and then dropped to her knees with a smirk directed at her chief. Looking him directly in teh eye, she made sure he was watching when she wrapped her lips around his throbbing member. His head droppped back against the wall with an echoing crack as she
>>Computer, save file, TC7.
>>Computer, lock file, access code Tormolen Zee Niner Five.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 08:52 pm (UTC)P. A. Chekov
Date: 2009-11-15 09:11 pm (UTC)...cont.
"Ensign Chekov you are a genius," said Captain Kirk.
"Yes," said Commander Spock. "We would all have died without you."
Ensign Chekov nodded modestly. He did not care for the praise of men (or women), only the satisfaction of a job well done.
"On our return to Starbase Gagarin, I will recommend that you be promoted to Commander!" said Captain Kirk. "But for now everyone will leave the bridge except for you, Acting-Commander-Chekov, and Lieutenant Sulu, because the ship is in very safe hands with you." Then they all left.
Alone on the bridge with Lieutenant Sulu, Ensign Chekov could not help but notice that the tall, handsome pilot seemed ill at ease. "What is wrong?"
"I am confused about my admiration for you," said Lieutenant Sulu. He turned to face Ensign Chekov with a troubled expression in his long dark eyes that so often seethed with passion as he steered the ship with such elegant gestures and movements like a Conductor, his hands so
elegantack no repetition strong and beautiful.(maybe revise later, too much detail)
"How so?" asked Ensign Chekov.
Lieutenant Sulu stood suddenly and closed the distance between them
abruptly"May I," he asked, his hesitation strange in one who was usually so purposeful and commanding, "May I kiss you, Ensign Chekov?""Yes" saida Ensign Chekaov. Andk they kisssed and then LIeutenant SUklu sai d"call me hikaru" and I said "yes oh fuck yes
[INACTIVE FILE: AUTOSAVE]
Re: P. A. Chekov
Date: 2009-11-15 11:11 pm (UTC)*CRIES*
(no subject)
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Date: 2009-11-15 09:28 pm (UTC)Recipient: james.kirk.cmnd
Jim what the hell is this...thing that just appeared on my PADD. I'm a doctor, not....whatever the hell this thing needs. GET RID OF IT.
>Commander Spock shoved Captain Kirk forcibly against the
>wall. He kissed his slightly chapped, manly cocksucker lips
>hard as he gripped the lump in his regulation pants hard.
>
>"You belong to me now and you will do as I say," the
>captain's first officer growled erotically and the words
>drizzled straight from his mouth to the captain's growing
>penis.
>
>"Whatever you say," the captain said, acquiescing
>immediately. "But please," he begged sexually, "allow me to
>suck your large, throbbing cock."
>
>Commander Spock's man-sword swelled to its full thick length
>at his words, and he growled once again in a highly arouse
>manner before grabbing his head and shoving him down on his >knees.
>
>"Grrr..." said Commander Spock.
>
>"Oh please," said Captain Krik.
>
>In his frenzy to get at his giant organ he ripped his zipper
>or buttons no wait my pants have a zipper. Commander Spock's
>turgid member, or should we say manber, slapped Captain Kirk
>in the face as it was freed like a wild beast from within the
>deep confines of Commander Spock's pants.
>
>"Grrr..." growled Commander Spock again.
>
>"Oh please let me eat up this wonderful man treat," begged
>Captain Kirk.
>
>"You most certainly may," commended Commander Spock sexually.
>
>And so he took his enormous man snake in his mouth and down
>his throat. Commander Spock's head fell back really hard
>against the wall of the room they were in and he screamed, "I
>AM YOUR CAPTAIN NOW WHO HIS YOUR DADDY" and Captain Kirk
>would have ansered "YOU AND YOUR GIANT WEINER ARE" but he had
>Commander Spock's ginormous penis in his mouth and down his
>throat so he could not. Instead he decided to surprise
>Commander Spock and reached around with his one hand and
>punched Commander Spock in the anus.
>
>Commander Spock felt Captain Kirk's entire fist enter his
>tight hot ass and penetrate him sexually and as it hit his
>prostrate he came in great spurts down Captain Kirk's tight
>cocksucking throat.
>
>Captain Kirk swallowed it all like the little bitch he was
>and then smiled at Commander Spock and said, "Please be my
>Captain and Cum Daddy forever Spock" and then he pulled out a
>beautiful giant ring and Spock said yes but only if I can
>pump my large erection up your ass and Captain Kirk said yes
>of course.
>
>So then DCommander Spock threw Captain Kirk over the console
>and shoved his giant penis of sex juice up Captain Kirk's
>really tight ass hole.
>
>"Oh my god you are so tight and perfect," said Commander
>Spock and Captain Kirk said "ooooooh god iyes harder oh god
>spcok oyu are so fucking amazing at fucking."
>
>And Commander Spock thursted with all of his might up Captain
>Kirk's insanely tight anus until it clenched around his penis
>as he came. He wrapped his arms around him and turned him
>around while still thrusting erotically into him and watched
>him com all over the entire ship.
>
>"You are so hot right now" screamed Commander Spock as he
>finally began to release his man juice into Captain Kirk's
>love tunnel.
>
>"Ooooh god Spock yes," screamed Captain Kirk.
>
>Suddenly Commander Spock pulled his giant trouser snake from
>Captain Kirk's sex ass and shoved a giant butt plug into him.
>
>"Now you will have to feel me in you at all times," he said.
>
>"Oh god yes" said Captain Kirk and the very thought of it
>made him come again all over the ship.
>
>The End.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 09:30 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 10:13 pm (UTC)Creative Writing Exercise 4.3
...cont.
Lieutenant Sulu stood suddenly and closed the distance between them abruptly "May I," he asked, his hesitation strange in one who was usually so purposeful and commanding, "May I kiss you, Ensign Chekov?"
Ensign Chekov raised an eyebrow in surprise, an expression much like the one which Commander Spock and Dr McCoy were both good at doing and it always looked very cool. "This is very sudden," said Ensign Chekov.
"It is not," explained Lieutenant Sulu. "I have felt this way for a very long time. All those times I refused to teach you fencing or told you to get out of the arboretum and stop touching my plants, it was because I am very much in love with you
and find you very sexyand I did not know how to tell you." Lieutenant Sulu's strong broad hand clasped Ensign Chekov's shoulder in a warm and sensuous grip, so that the younger man probably could not get away although also he did not try very much."Really?" asked Ensign Chekov, trembling. Trembling! He, who had with his ingenuity and cunning taken out the Klingon Flagship almost single-handedly only two hours before! Here was revealed the delicate, yearning soul of this surprisingly mature young scientist. "What could you possibly see in me, I who am so young and socially sometimes a bit awkward and also maybe not very physically attractive,
I am not sure about that last one?" fuck you sound like a dork, revise laterLieutenant Sulu gave a low laugh, which was a very good sound, dry and amused and somehow thrilling. "It is your fine intellect I love, and also I think there is probably much more to you than just being a genius at interstellar physics, I think probably we share many interests such as history and going dancing."
Ensign Chekov nodded in surprise, he did not think anyone had realised that about him. Lieutenant Sulu drew him closer (Ensign Chekov had stood up by now) and put his arms around Ensign Chekov's waist, pulling their bodies together. Ensign Chekov felt heat surge through him. "It is true," continued Lieutenant Sulu, "It is you who I find most attractive of all people on this ship, even though I am the one who is tall and muscular and funny and smart and brave and sexy andh isass loosk so fuckign hot inal his ffield unfoirnm when he toally fuckking destrocyed thohss romulaaaaaaaaaaaaa
[INACTIVE FILE: AUTOSAVE]
---
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 10:14 pm (UTC)FROM THE DESK OF CAPTAIN KIRK
Date: 2009-11-15 10:19 pm (UTC)"For you, captain," McKenna moaned, Sulu's face buried between her thighs, as Chekov moved into position to begin plundering Mitchell's tight ass.
Yes, it was god to be captain.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 10:21 pm (UTC)Recipient: leonard.mccoy.med
I dunno, it's kinda hot. I like the part where I get laid.
Also, there is some really terrible porn floating around this ship. I LIKE IT.
Unidentified file
Date: 2009-11-15 10:47 pm (UTC)Framed in the doorway, in an aesthetically-pleasing manner, Montgomery Scott paused to take in the darkened room. "Lights, sixty percent," he commanded, words forming in the manner particular to his region of origin on Earth. As the room brightened quickly, his gaze rested on the hunched form of the pilot, limbs bare and shaking slightly as he controlled his impulse to emit pleasured noises.
"That isn't what your gardening tools are meant for," observed the engineer ungrammatically, but accurately. "Do you want me to take over and use my own [choose appropriate colloquialism for male reproductive organ] instead?"
Mr. Sulu's head jerked up and he looked at his colleague with unabashed emotion. "I would approve of that course," he said, voice affected by the strain of his control.
"How exciting that we are in agreement," Mr. Scott said, smiling with his usual candor and approaching. "Let me help you."
Re: Unidentified file
Date: 2009-11-15 11:14 pm (UTC)Re: Unidentified file
From:Re: Unidentified file
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2009-11-15 11:30 pm (UTC) - ExpandRe: Unidentified file
From:First time writing prons...
Date: 2009-11-15 11:43 pm (UTC)Recipient: james.kirk.cmnd
CC: christine.chapel.med
Kirk, I will make you pay. I know you wrote this.
>Christine Chapel shivered as she watched Nyota's eyes
>caress her lithe, nude form.
>
>Nyota licked her lips, her mocha eyes turning feral
>as she slowly, teasingly caressed the other woman's
>breast, her other hand sweeping down towards the wet
>heat between her legs. "You want this, don't you?"
>
>"Y-yes," Christine said, her voice shaking with need.
>
>"I can tell you do. So wet, ready and waiting for
>me..." Christine suppressed a cry as Nyota slipped
>two fingers inside of her, and Nyota smiled, watching
>the face beneath her contort with barely-supressed
>pleasure.
>
>"Nyota..." Christine wimpered softly, her breaths
>becoming labored pants as the fingers within her
>began to move, thrusting deeper with each stroke.
>
>"What? You want more, you want it harder?" Nyota leaned forward to whisper in her companion's ear,
>extending her talented tongue to trace the shell of
>Christine's ear as she added a third and fourth
>finger to the other woman's wet tightness.
>
>"Yes, yes, ohgodyes-" The rest of Christine's
>sentence was lost to cries of pleasure as Nyota's
>fingers curled within her, bringing her to her
>release at last.
There's more, but I'm not going to dignify it by posting it all here. What else have you written about me, Kirk? I want it gone.
ooc: No idea who actually wrote this... I just thought that girlprons were required. And of course Nyota would think it was Kirk.
Re: First time writing prons...
Date: 2009-11-16 12:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 11:46 pm (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm
CC: christine.chapel.med
Not guilty, but hot. Save to my private files, thanks.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-15 11:51 pm (UTC)Recipient: christine.chapel.med
I'm sorry about that. I actually thought it was him. You have any clue who wrote this?
Nyota Uhura's Personal Log
Date: 2009-11-15 11:56 pm (UTC)I...I feel dirty...
Date: 2009-11-15 11:56 pm (UTC)"If it is you, Captain, it will not hurt excessively," Spock replied, and Kirk almost melted at the trust in his voice. They'd been through so much together. So many times they'd nearly died, leaving all the words between them unspoken.
Kirk thrust into Spock, who shuddered beneath him in pleasure. "I think I loved you before I met you," he whispered, caressing Spock's fingers with his own. "You're so perfect for me. I must have dreamed you into life."
"That is illogical, Captain," Spock replied, but he wasn't really mad. He was just trying to put up his perfect Vulcan front. Really, men could be so stupid about talking about their feelings.
"Call me Jim," Kirk asked, and when Spock's perfect lips parted, and he whispered, "Jim," he almost came, like a little boy. Spock had given him such a gift--letting him inside. Not just into his body--his hot, tight body, that swallowed him up and made him drown in pleasure so hot he never wanted them to be parted again--but into his heart, his soul. Spock didn't really want to be closed off. he'd been crying, alone, for so long. He just needed someone to hols him and tell him it would all be alright.
And Spock, he gave Kirk a purpose beyond just racing from one meaningless bed to another. he had shown Kirk what it meant to love one person completely. He'd taught Kirk, the most famous heart-breaker of the galaxy, the joys of monogamy.
There was no rhyme or reason, just this feeling of completion. Kirk said as much. "Spock, I know there's no logical reason for us to be together. We can reproduce. You're going to outlive me. But, when I look in your eyes, I feel as if I've come home."
"You're wrong, Jim," Spock breathed. he was so close, so close. Every thrust Jim made was pushing him closer to the brink.
Kirk tried not to frown, but it felt like Spock was breaking his heart. Of course. Spock was Vulcan. he didn't feel things like a human did.
Spock reached out his fingers to meld with Kirk. They gasped, feeling the amazing pleasure flood bot of their brains. "Being together is the most logical thing there is," Spock finished, and they were both so happy they came together. it was the most intense thing either of them had ever felt in their lives, because they loved each other.
Re: I...I feel dirty...
Date: 2009-11-16 12:02 am (UTC)Time: 23:14
Um, whoever used this PADD, please remember to, ahem, logout after shift so the next personnel member who gets a hold of it doesn't have to learn about your, um, personal proclivities.
Also, buttsex does not work like that. Just sayin'...
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:00 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm
It definitely wasn't me. Not a chance. Not even a little.
...unless you maybe wanted it to be?
No, no. Not me. For sure.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:11 am (UTC)Recipient: christine.chapel.med
Don't worry. I wasn't accusing you or anything.
You don't have any idea though? My best bet is it's someone in security, or something, where they could use the stress relief. Of course, it could be the ship itself - I've heard there's a lot of porn floating around all of a sudden, and I know there are well-documented phenomena that can cause the main computer to gain sentience.
Of course, that wouldn't account for the, erm, variable quality of some of it.
Of cour
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:13 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm
I bet it's Giotto, that pervert. Or Galloway. He seems sexually frustrated.
emotional pron is still pron, right?
Date: 2009-11-16 12:15 am (UTC)"I love you," Tony whispered, stroking his assistant's cheek.
"I know," Galloway sneered, looking down at the older man. "But you missed your chance. I'm with Tormolen. And McKenna. And your ex wife."
Tears pricked the corners of the handsome chief's eyes.
"Dave--"
"Don't, okay? I'm done with you."
Re: emotional pron is still pron, right?
Date: 2009-11-16 04:36 am (UTC)So hard to resist establishing relationships...
Date: 2009-11-16 12:19 am (UTC)Recipient: christine.chapel.med
Yes, I wouldn't be suprised if it was one of them, either. Especially Galloway. I agree, he does seem sexually frustrated. I wonder why?
Did you see that one about Kirk and Spock that was left open at a computer terminal. Apparently someone on board has a thing for late 20th century sappy romace songs.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:21 am (UTC)To: Chekov'sAssIsFine Mailing Group
>This is the original, guys! The one we named the group after!
Ensign Chekov had a hot ass.
Unfortunately, it was also a hot underage piece of ass.
There were not a few members of the crew who were counting down the days until Chekov's 8th birthday. A few had it calculated out to the exact millisecond, which was kind of odd, considering that the hospital maternity records in Russia weren't nearly that exact.
I mean, damn. You ever sat there on the bridge when he's there? Watched those curls bounce up and down when he nodded? (I wonder where else his hair curls, right?) Or seen him nibble at a pen as he wrote out all those gorgeous theorems (he proved the fifth postulate of transwarpping. The fifth postulate! I nearly came.) And that accent. The computer might not like it--and what does she know, anyway?--but I would kill to hear some Russian version of "I'm coming, I'm coming, you're so big, please god keep going!"
But, back to the point, Chekov has a hot ass, and I think there's gonna be some competition for who, exactly, gets to tap it first.
>>Re: Chekov's ass
From: SandwichesFilledWithMeat
Hey, there's no need to insult the computer systems. The Enterprise's computers run just fine.
But I'd rather the lad's mouth.
>>Re: Chekov's ass
From: AnUnrelatedAlias
It seems
illounreasonable to base the relative maturity of an individual solely upon the number of years he has lives. Psychologically, a person's maturity may be far in advance of his physical age.>>Re: AnUnrelatedAlias
From: TotallyNotInCharge
You wouldn't be suggesting that it's fine to tap that ass becasue Chekov's a genius, would you? 'Cuz I will totally report that to Starfleet in the case that any of us do, in fact, tap that ass. Semantics are a wonderful thing.
>>Re: TotallyNotInCharge
From: TalentedTasteBuds
Quit using semantics to try and justify your
pedoephebophilia. Aside from that, might I suggest letting Chekov actually decide who he wants to, and I quote, "tap (his) ass"?For all you idiot men know, he'd rather tap someone else's.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:34 am (UTC)To: All personnel
To whom it may concern, please stop sending Anonymous messages to the botany lab and the officers working in it.
Despite any announcements, rumors, or "true" stories, the Botany Lab is not, has never, and will never start looking in the synthesis of any aphrodisiacs or other sexually stimulating chemicals, hormones, or artificial substances.
There is no so-called "sex pollen" that "will drive anyone mad with lust" and "make them willing to do anyone."
If people continue to ask, we may have to hold formal investigations. Purposefully slipping in any mind-altering substance to any personnel or visitor could be construed as a personal attack. Drugs do not induce consent.
Thank you.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:36 am (UTC)Whoa, whoa, aren't we overreacting here? I'm sorry if people are taking the jokes too far, but all this sex pollen stuff is just harmless fun. It's just a bit of fantasy. I'm sure no one would really slip drugs to anyone else.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:36 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm
20th century songs? I didn't see it. Details?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:38 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm, christine.chapel.med, gaila.eng, caroline.mckenna.comm, elizabeth.dehner.med, marla.mcgivers.ops
In light of the recent ah, ~kerfluffle~ I think we all need a ladies night. My quarters, drinks provided of course, 2130 please. I know you all are off then! We can commiserate and I'm making dessert!
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:41 am (UTC)Sender: janice.rand.yeo
Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm, christine.chapel.med, gaila.eng, caroline.mckenna.comm, elizabeth.dehner.med, marla.mcgivers.ops
and maaaaaaybe I'm going to get us all tipsy enough to find out who wrote what~! I know you lovely ladies are not as prim and proper as you pretend! I'm sure not! teehee ;D
MESSAGE ERASED UNSENT
OMG.
Date: 2009-11-16 01:33 am (UTC)Re: OMG.
From: (Anonymous) - Date: 2009-11-16 01:40 am (UTC) - Expandno subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:43 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm, christine.chapel.med, gaila.eng, janice.rand.yeo, elizabeth.dehner.med, marla.mcgivers.ops
I think I read a porn that started like that about 15 minutes ago.
Also apparently I get routinely double and triple teamed by the others helmsmen. Who knew?
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:48 am (UTC)Recipient: nyota.uhura.comm, christine.chapel.med, gaila.eng, caroline.mckenna.comm, elizabeth.dehner.med, marla.mcgivers.ops
Oh my. There are quite a ...variety of things floating around. All the more reason to go hide away and try to forget I say. Or laugh about it. We'll see how we're feeling (:
Goodness. Well, apparently being captain's yeoman means being I'm his personal prostitute. Funny how that wasn't in the job description.
no subject
Date: 2009-11-16 12:53 am (UTC)Recipient: pavel.chekov.comm
Um. Holy fuck. Did you see that one with me in the Botany lab? I...I think Spock wrote porn of me and Scotty. Holy fuck. I need to bleach my brain. Also, there's apparently a countdown 'til your birthday. Creepy much? I bet Kirk started it. There's just so much porn here... it's like everybody's been writing it. Granted some of it's kinda hot, but jesus, I've only scrolled through a couple of them and...see above. Brain bleach.