Challenge: Valentine's Day!
Feb. 22nd, 2010 08:25 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/ posting in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
startrek_diaryNormally I do challenges on the real-life day, but... I didn't want to?
So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it:
TNG verse!
It is Valentine's day on the Enterprise-D. You know what that means. Awkward letters, fumbles in the closet, and Q showing up in Picard's quarters with only a strategically placed box of chocolates.
So... what else?
So, your challenge, should you choose to accept it:
TNG verse!
It is Valentine's day on the Enterprise-D. You know what that means. Awkward letters, fumbles in the closet, and Q showing up in Picard's quarters with only a strategically placed box of chocolates.
So... what else?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:32 pm (UTC)Sender: lt.jg.reginald.barclay
Recipeint: dr.beverly.crusher
Dearest Doctor,
Last week when I thought I had Bendii Syndrome you were very beautiful. I could not help but notice how orange your hair is. If it wasn't for my crippling chrysophobia, I would think you were very beautiful.
Happy valentines day, please enjoy these chocolates even if sometimes they might be full of spider eggs.
-"Broccoli"
Oh, who am I kidding.
MESSAGE ERASED UNSENT
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:39 pm (UTC)Recipient: capt.jean-luc.picard
Captain, take this as my not-so formal declaration that if Mr. Worf uses today as an excuse to try and woo Deanna I can't be responsible for smacking his skull into Tactical.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:44 pm (UTC)...anyone? Anyone? Bueller?
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:43 pm (UTC)UNKNOWN: Oh, Captain! MY CAPTAIN! I'm com--
UNKNOWN: Make it so!
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:46 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
Geordi,
Do you believe it "suitable" that I should use the communications network to announce my valentine's day regards to someone or should I announce said regards in person?
I am unsure as to how to proceed, as I cannot fit "I cannot feel for you, but I consider you ascetically pleasing, and a part of my knowledge of humanity will need to include the process of sex, which could be very pleasurable for you, but not for me, as I do not feel pleasure" onto any of the cards the replicator provides.
Data
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:50 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.data
Just send a picture of your crotch with the words "fully functional!" written on it. They'll get the message.
...do not actually do that.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 07:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:50 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:52 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
Geordi,
I was given to believe the process of sending and receiving Valentines as an anonymous one. Have I perceived this holiday inncorrectly?
Data
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:54 pm (UTC)Sender: ens.wesley.crusher
Recipient: cmdr.william.riker
Deanna is not nearly woman enough for you sir. A man such as yourself--a man's man--needs someone who can satisfy
Do you think mom would ground me if I kissed you?
MESSAGE ERASED UNSENT
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:54 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.data
Well, Data, it depends on your desired outcome.
Do you want to have a relationship with this person?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:55 pm (UTC)Recipient: cmdr.william.riker
Sir, what would be the best way to tell someone that you like them like them?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:56 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
Geordi,
I am unsure, as I am still not an expert on the finer points of having a relationship. I believe, perhaps, I would lack the emotional support which my partner may need to have a fulfilling life.
Do you suggest I just 'cop a feel' as Wesley informs me the expression goes?
Data
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:57 pm (UTC)Sender: cmdr.william.riker
Recipient: ens.wesley.crusher
Shut up, Wesley. Some of us have Klingons to slaughter.
MESSAGE ERASED UNSENT
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:58 pm (UTC)Sender: lt.worf.son-of-mogue.
Recipient: cmmdr.william.riker
You have been giving me challenging looks all day. I am beginning to understand why your relationship with Counsellor Troi failed. I never would have believed it myself if the evidence were not right in front of me.
I cannot send this.
Message Erased Unsent
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:59 pm (UTC)Gone!
(no subject)
From:(no subject)
From:no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 01:59 pm (UTC)Recipient: ens.wesley.crusher
A card is traditional. Maybe they would prefer a more flashy show, but it depends on the person. I can't tell you what they'd like without knowing who it is, now can I? ;)
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:05 pm (UTC)Recipient: capt.jean-luc.picard
Sir, this is official, you're late for shift.
...Is it Crusher? Because, damn, that explains how the boy got his confiscated padd back.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:14 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.data
NO. No touching unless invited.
In fact, in general, it is a bad idea to take romantic advice from kids without any pubic hair, no matter what kind of mechanical genii they are.
As for emotional support, you can learn how to do that. Who is this person, anyway?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:22 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
Geordi,
I am aware of the regulations aboard the Enterprise. I was not aware the "copping a feel" entailed a reluctance on the part of the other party, and will endeavour to check the database before consulting Wesley.
Is Wesley biologically subnormal? My knowledge of human pubescence details that the growth of public hair occurs around ten years old for males. Should we inform the doctor of this?
I am not sure whether I should, Geordi. Even though you are my best friend, it could result in an awkward conversation if she refuses my advances. She may wish no one to know.
Data
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:24 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.jg.reginald.barclay
So? Did you ask her?
Also, get down to transporter room one, will you? Data was trying to program valentine's day cat food, but The Boy managed to crosswire the transporters to the replicators and now the transporter is spewing out Kibbles 'n Bits like they're going out of fashion.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:25 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.data
"Copping a feel" means grabbing a woman in any of the many sexually suggestive place on her body. It's a bad idea.
Yes. Yes you should- no. It was a joke, Data. Please do not tell the kid's mother that I called her son a fetus, even if he looks a little like one.
I think you should. And I'm so often right.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 07:32 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:27 pm (UTC)Recipeint: cpo.miles.o'brien
No, sir. My chrysophobia won't let me tell her I love her. I think I'll practice in the holodeck for next year. And maybe buy her some hair dye.
I'm allergic to Kibbles, but I can help with the Bits. I'll be right there.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:29 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
Geordi,
Wesley said "They like it when you're assertive, Data. They need to be controlled, you know? Well, not, controlled, but they want you to be more in control than they are. Yeah?" Is he misguided? That would be the conclusion I would make.
Noted.
Are you attempting sarcasm? Do you believe I should consult someone who is in a successful relationship? Miles, perhaps, or Doctor Crusher regarding the relationship with her late husband?
Data
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:32 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.jg.reginald.barclay
I was wondering why you never look at my hair when we're in a lot of sunlight. I'll keep it in mind. But if you're afraid of gold how the hell do you put your uniform on in the morning?
Don't let your fears control you, Reg. Come on, there are a lot of things you can't do with a holodeck girlfriend. Take her home to meet your parents without her disintegrating, for one.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:32 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.data
Think about the women you know. Do you think any of them is longing to be "controlled"? Hint: No. No they are not. People want to be equal partners in relationships, and Wesley is being a creepy little chode who will never get laid.
I think you have to do what's right for you. All relationships are different, and you can't base yours off of anyone else's- like how you and my friendship is different than your friendship with, say, Worf. You have to find your own common ground.
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:36 pm (UTC)Recipeint: cpo.miles.o'brien
Not gold. ORANGE. Terrifying, really.
My parents would think any girl I brought home was a hologram anyway.
Did you and Keiko do anything special? Or have something planned?
no subject
Date: 2010-02-22 02:38 pm (UTC)Recipient: lt.cmdr.geordi.la.forge
"Laid"? Do you mean sex? I do not require sex. This valentines announcement is to tell her I think she is an intelligent and aesthetically pleasing person, not as a beginning on a path to sexual intercourse. If she desires sex, I am fully functioning, but I would not wish her to think I am just trying to "get laid". Wesley's advice is, indeed, invalid for my situation. Thank you, Geordi.
You are also right about the "controlling" aspect. I believe the last thing my valentine would require is for me to be in "control". She would, perhaps, prefer to control me? I am very unsure.