Pavel Chekov Wears Rocket Ship Underoos

I AM SO SORRY. I'M WATCHING WHAT NOT TO WEAR AND LISTENING TO THE BABY CRY BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO PLAY WITH HIM.

ALSO, I GOT A LITTLE OVERZEALOUS LAST NIGHT AND CUT MY NAILS TOO SHORT. :[

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IS THIS A REAL BABY OR ONE WITH FUR?

I"M SORRY THAT SOUNDS SHITTY.

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ONE WITH FUR. I WOULD PROBABLY KILL A REAL BABY. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO DO WITH ONE.

TRUE STORY: A CHILD STOLE A PENCIL FROM MY STORE AND THE MOTHER ANGRILY BROUGHT HIM BACK TO APOLOGIZE TO A MANAGER (ME) AND HAD CONVINCED HIM HE WAS GONG TO GO TO JAIL. HE WAS CRYING SO HARD HE COULDN'T GET THE WORDS OUT SO I JUST TOOK THE PENCIL AND PATTED HIM ON THE HEAD AND THEN STOOD THERE WHILE THE MOTHER GLARED ANGRILY AT HIM.

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I HATE CHILDREN. ON THE BOAT FRO MYKONOS TO ATHENS I WAS NEXT TO A CHILD AND IT WAS POORLY BEHAVED. IT'S MOTHER ASKED ME TO SAY SOMETHING IN ENGLISH. SO I SAID "WHAT'S THE MATTER, LITTLE GUY?" AND SHE SAID SOMETHING IN GREEK AND HE WENT STILL AND STARED AT ME.

SHE TOLD HIM I SAID IF HE DIDN'T CALM DOWN I WOULD EAT HIM.

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LOL IRL

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MY MOTHER LIKES TO TALK ABOUT HOW MUCH SHE WANTS GRANDKIDS AND WHENEVER SHE DOES MY SISTER AND I SORT OF LOOK AT EACH OTHER IN HORROR AND THEN POINT TO MY LITTLE BROTHER AND GO 'YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO WAIT FOR HIM TO REPRODUCE' HE'S STILL IN HIGHSCHOOL.

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FOR A WHILE IT LOOKED LIKE I WAS GOING TO BE THE ONLY ONE TO PASS ON MY BLOODLINE AND I KIND OF PANICKED BECAUSE WHAT THE FUCK WOULD I DO WITH KIDS? YOU WOULD TURN ON THE NEWS ONE DAY AND HEAR ABOUT MY DROWNING MY KIDS IN THE BATHTUB A LA ANDREA YATES.

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I KNOW RIGHT? I LIKE TO HUG THEM AND FEED THEM COOKIES. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF ONE. MAYBE IN LIKE TEN YEARS I'LL WANT TO REPRODUCE. BUT THAT STILL MEANS MY LITTLE BROTHER IS LIKELY TO HAVE THEM BEFORE ME.

OH GOD I'LL PROBABLY BE A PARENT LIKE PIKE. SORRY FUTURE CHILDREN. I MEAN WELL. REALLY.

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I DON'T EVEN LIKE KIDS. AND THEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I WORK AT A PARTY STORE IF I HATE KIDS, BUT YOU KNOW IT'S A FUCKING JOB AND IT PAYS MONEY AND ANYWAYS I LIKE BALLOONS.

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I LIKE COOING OVER HOW CUTE THEY ARE. I'VE DONE A BUNCH OF CAMP COUNSELLING THINGS AND LITTLE KIDS REALY LIKE ME FOR SOME REASON. I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. I DON'T MIND THEM FOR A COUPLE HOURS BUT RAISING ONE IS A TERRIFYING THOUGHT.

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THIS. I DO NOT KNOW HOW KITTY DOES IT NAD HERS IS REALLY CUTE.

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captlebubbles.livejournal.com

MY PARENTS WANT LOTS OF GRANDCHILDREN AND WHENEVER I MENTION THAT I DON'T WANT KIDS THEY JUST DO THAT "HUMOUR HER, NOD A SMILE" THING AND THEN TELL THAT I AM ALLOWED TO CHANGE MY MIND ONE DAY.

BUT MY BROTHER MARRIED A MORMON AND THEY BELIEVE IN KIDS SO THERE'LL BE NO TROUBLE WITH HAVING LOTS OF GRANDS SO THEY NEED TO LEAVE IT ALONE. I would be a terrible mother anyway, but my bestest is reproducing and I've already called godmother.

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I DATED A MORMON ONCE. THE END.

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captlebubbles.livejournal.com

The set that lives in Vidalia are different than the set that lives in Utah. My sis-in-law is actually pretty cool.

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He was cool. But then he and Lacey started dating and they are perfect together so I really can't contest that.

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MY FUTURE PLANS INCLUDE BEING "COOL AUNT LAUREN" WHO COMES INTO TOWN, THROWS TOYS AT THE KIDS AND PLAYS WITH THEM UNTIL THEY STINK/MAKE NOISE/BECOME BORING AND THEN GIVES THEM BACK.

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I WILL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN BUT IF I SAY THAT AROUND MY MOTHER, SHE GETS ALL WEEPY AND SAYS THINGS LIKE, "WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO PASS ALONG YOUR LIGHT?"

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MY SISTER AND I ARE TRYING TO EASE HER INTO IT NOW SO HOPEFULLY IN 5 YEARS WHEN WE ACTUALLY SAY SERIOUSLY : 'NO MOM. I'M NOT REPRODUCING' SHE WON'T BREAK DOWN AND CRY. OUR BROTHER WILL THOUGH. SO THAT WILL MAKE HER HAPPY.

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captlebubbles.livejournal.com

I HAVE A TEACHER THAT ACTUALLY TOLD ME I WAS SELFISH FOR NOT WANTING TO REPRODUCE.

AND I REALLY LIKED THE CLASS BUT REALLY DIDN'T LIKE THE TEACHER AND THAT CREATED A CONFLICT OF EMOTIONS FOR ME.

AND THEN I GOT A CRUSH ON THE CUTIE THAT SAT NEXT TO THE DESK BEHIND ME AND I FOUND OUT HE WORKS AT WAL*MART SO I'VE BEEN SORT OF STALKING HIM.

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MY FAVORITE TEACHER IN HS TOLD ME TO NEVER TELL MY GRANDMOTHER THAT. MY GRANDMOTHER THINGS THE BEST THING ABOUT GRANDKIDS IS THAT SHE GOT TO GIVE THEM BACK WHEN THEY STOPPED BEING CUTE. SHE'S COOL WITH IT.

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MY GRANDMOTHER IS HORRIBLY DISAPPOINTED IN ME BECAUSE I HAVE YET TO DROP OUT OF SCHOOL, MARRY, AND START POPPING OUT BABIES. OH AND BECAUSE I'M NOT CHRISTIAN SO I MUST OBVIOUSLY BE A DEVIL-WORSHIPING WITCH BECAUSE CLEARLY THERE ARE ONLY TWO RELIGIONS IN THE WORLD AND THOSE WOULD BE GOOD, GOD-FEARING CHRISTIANS AND HORRIBLE EVIL DEVIL WORSHIPING WITCHES.

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STOP LOVING SATAN, EMMY. STOP IT.

EVERY TIME MY GRANDMOTHER CALLS SHE ASKS ME HOW MY SOCIAL LIFE IS. I ALWAYS SAY "FINE, HOW'S YOURS?" BECUASE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL A WOMAN WHO WAS A MOTHER BEFORE SHE WAS 21 THAT I'M NEVER GETTING MARRIED.

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