A CHALLENGER APPEARS!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/]

FELLOW ANONS! I propose a challenge!

I'm loving that we have 4 pages of commtexts, but how about something longer?


Yeah, I want to see your best letters home from the crew!
Show me Spock begging Sarek for new socks!
Show me McCoy's letters to Joanna!
Show me Scotty.. um.. does Scotty have a family? NEVER YOU MIND! HE DOES NOW! HE HAS A PET IGUANA NAMED PENELOPE. TO WHOM HE APPARENTLY WRITES LETTERS.


Crack, schmoop, whatever. And yes, for our purposes, Chekov totally writes in Standard.

If you want to make images, please do! I will gladly put up a resource page for fonts and whatnot, just let me know what we need.

GO!

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Mom,

Don't get mad.

Okay, you remember that ring of dad's you gave me when they made me captain with strict orders not to lose it?

Don't be mad, but I kinda lost it.

Okay, there's totally a story here. See, I was having dinner with Ensign Jailbait and Bones, and Jailbait was all "VTF, I lowe your ring!" and I was all "That's some George Kirk swag right there, buddy!"

So the little Russian asks if he can try it on. I go to take it off and it's totes stuck. I was pulling and pulling and WHAM it flies off my finger and into Mr. Spock's (my first mate, remember? Vulcan, no sense of humor?) soup.

AND HE TOTALLY ATE IT.

Bones didn't know enough about Vulcan physiology to even know if they.. um.. if it would come out, and I wasn't going to be all "Dude, I think you ate my dad's ring" cause he and I just aren't that kind of close.

So don't be mad, but I don't think I can get it back.

Also I negotiated a peace treaty between the Andorians and the Klingons.

Your son,
Jim

[(Anonymous)]

Susan and Dawn,

I've managed to get clearance to visit home on extended leave for Christmas this year. I'm looking forward to seeing the two of you again; I saw the pictures you sent and I can't believe how the two of you have grown.

I'm bringing a friend with me when I come visit. His name is Kevin Riley, and we've become good friends. He doesn't have a family of his own to spend the holidays with, so I offered to share mine.

Since I'm pretty sure your mother is reading this to you, I can't tell you about all the special things I promised to tell you about space, so we'll have to wait until the holidays.

By the way, Rebecca, I know you don't want me to mix the girls with Starfleet, but the captain has authorized a visit to the Enterprise by families while we're docked at Luna, and I'd like to show the girls where their dad works. (If you try to stop me, I'll contact my lawyer. You know I get partial custody when I'm home. Just a friendly reminder.)

I'll see you girls at Christmas. All my love,
Lt. John Winston Kyle

[(Anonymous)]

Hello Mama, Papa, Babka, Tetya Anya, Liza and anyone else who is there at the moment.

Просьба принять это письмо дядя Коля. Он будет переводить.
(Please take this letter to Uncle Kolya. He will translate it.)

Firstly thank you for your letter. Starfleet is wonderful but I do miss you all and it was very good to hear that you are all well.

Secondly please tell Tetya Anya that no Liza is NOT to recalibrate my telescope. I am sorry but it is a very delicate piece of equipment and I saved up myself to buy it. I will send Liza a better one for Christmas and until then she can go to the Observatory or look at the stars the same way anyone else does. This is VERY IMPORTANT.

I am glad Dyadya Lev's collider is working again, but remind him that he needs to make sure the quadrupole magnets are correctly balanced against the dipole magnets before engaging the firing pattern. Otherwise the beams will not be sufficiently focussed and the same thing will happen next time.

Ask Tetya Anya if she has tried turning it off, and then turning it on again. I think that will fix it.

I think if your toaster is saying those things then I am sorry but someone has hacked the voice panel. I do not wish to accuse, but you could ask Liza if she knows anything about it before you write to the company to complain. I am sure toasters are not programmed with those sorts of words in their vocabulary.

Ship's computer tells me that it is Winter in Petersburg. Has it snowed yet? Is it snowing now? I am imagining that there is a white blanket on everything and Katushka is picking her way through it on cross little paws, but that the sky is bright and clear and you can see almost all the way to the Enterprise. The stars in space are always very bright, but they are in completely different constellations. Some of them we map because no-one has ever been to those sectors before, and we are the first humans to see them.

Tell Papa when I am on nightshift and it is quiet I think about sitting on the roof with him and looking for Neptune. Of course, Neptune is a long way behind us now. We are heading out towards the Beta quadrant on an exploration mission. Sometimes I have to write that out to believe it. It is like all my dreams are coming true, and I am not scared at all, just very excited.

I know you were worried when I took my commission, Mama, but the Enterprise is really a wonderful ship. Our Captain is a little bit crazy but I think you would like him, and Commander Spock makes sure we do not get into any trouble. He is a Vulcan; I have been playing chess against him and so far he beats me every time, so you can see he is very intelligent. I think I told you before about the Pilot that I most often work shift with? His name is Hikaru Sulu and he is a Lieutenant, which is higher than me, but we are becoming very good friends I think. I like him very much. After I finish this letter we are both going to the Holodeck to see a new movie from Earth; it is called Terminator 15, but Hikaru says I won't need to have seen the other 14 movies to understand it. He says it will be very good.

(Mama do you remember Dyadya Lev's first wife's niece's ex-husband Adam, who had the really cool appartment in Moscow with his friend Howie, and I had to sleep on the sofa because it had only one bedroom? Do you know if I could contact him? I know it will sound strange and don't tell Dyadya but there was something specific I wanted advice about and I think Adam is the best person to ask.)

Hikaru says I should tell you how awesome he is but I think he is joking. The first time when we were on the Enterprise and we were setting off he tried to go to warp aann

lieutenant sulu is awesome aand you would really really like him and he totally beat pavel’s hiscore on suns of delta the fiiirst time he ever palyed it

Mama I am sorry that was Hikaru, I have the PADD back now but he is waiting for me to finish so I should probably go now. I love you very much and Papa and Babka and Katushka and I miss you but space is very nice

okay I will write again soon

pashaas`dfu`hv,xcjn

[(Anonymous)]

Dear USS Enterprise,

As I sit on the vast beaches of Helvastole, enjoying my shore leave to the fullest, I cannot seem to stop thinking of you.

I lay under the triple suns and imagine your curving, ivory expanse, glistening under the starlight. Your glowing warp core, glimmering in the darkness of space. Your clever inertial dampers, keeping us all alive inside your shell.

Oh, my dear. Do not take offense at my horrendous use of the term "shell". For you are so much more to me than a mere shell. You are my life, dearest one. Without you I am nothing.

At night, here on Helvastole, I lean back in my bunk and let thoughts of you run rampant in my head. Sometimes, when the night is dull, and the stars are so very far away, I pretend I'm inside of you. I seem to fit, if you catch my drift.

Of course you catch my drift. You always were a clever one.

Be well, my dearest. Looking forward to upgrading your nacelles.

Yours (heart, soul, and body),

Montgomery Scott