startrek_diary | Fic: Of Princesses, Squids, and Horses Named Ruxpin

Title: Of Princesses, Squids, and Horses Named Ruxpin
Fandom: Star Trek STXI ST_D High School AU SFGP9
Characters/Pairings: Leslie/Lemli; Dave, Frank, Matt, Lieutenant Ruxpin (implied Frank/Matt)
Notes: I wrote this a while back during one of the games; the RL's were discussing being knights and this happened. I've finally got round to cleaning it up and posting it to the comm.
Summary: Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom called SFGP9, ruled by the heroic and dinky King Dave.

~*~*~

Once upon a time there was a magical kingdom called SFGP9, ruled by the heroic and dinky King Dave. King Dave's sole heir was a handsome prince by the name of Princess Roger. Princess Roger was well-beloved in the kingdom of SFGP9. Every day he would go for walks through the kingdom and the subjects were all very glad of his visits.

One day Princess Roger was kidnapped by an evil squid, who wanted to make him its bride to rule over its shadowy underwater kingdom (which was of course impossible, as Princess Roger was not only human, and humans cannot breathe underwater, but also, he was not a girl, and therefore unable to be anyone's bride. This was an easy mistake to make, since he was referred to as Princess, but nonetheless, Roger could be no one's bride, especially the bride of someone who lived underwater).

The squid, of course, discovered this, and was enraged, partly because of Princess Roger's misleading title, but also because he couldn't breathe underwater, so he took Princess Roger to an island in the middle of a large lake to punish him. He took very good care of Princess Roger, and brought him food every day, perhaps hoping that Princess Roger might one day learn to breathe underwater or become a girl- both things were entirely possible in the kingdom of SFGP9. But Princess Roger was sad and miserable and lonely on the island, and longed to be freed.

In the kingdom, King Dave was distraught at the loss of his heir. The peasants in the kingdom were also quite distraught at the loss of the well beloved prince. However, when King Dave issued an edict that anyone who rescued Princess Roger and destroyed the squid that had taken him would be granted half the kingdom and Princess Roger's hand in marriage (if Princess Roger were there, he would have most certainly objected to being promised as a prize, like an object that he most certainly wasn't), the people discovered that they didn't love Princess Roger quite as much as they thought, and so none volunteered. King Dave could not rescue him, of course, because he already had half of the kingdom and was already married to his wife. (When he explained this to his second-in-command, Queen Frank, Queen Frank simply rolled his eyes and went back to doing whatever he was doing.)

It was almost a year to the day after Princess Roger was taken that Sir Ryan, a brave knight from SFGP8, the neighboring kingdom, rode into the kingdom on his enormous horse, Lieutenant Ruxpin. Sir Ryan had heard rumours that there was a princess in danger that needed saving, and though he didn't like princesses that much, he did need to make a name for himself as a brave and heroic knight. He figured he could take the half of a kingdom and let the princess marry whoever she wanted, which if Princess Roger had heard, he would have approved of (except for the being called a her part).

King Dave was glad that someone had finally come forward to save Princess Roger, because he was getting kind of annoyed with everyone's cowardice, and sent Sir Ryan off with his best hopes and his page boy, Matt, who was very disgruntled at having to go along and help save Princess Roger. He made his disgruntlement very clear, but Roger didn't really care.

It took three days for Sir Ryan and Matt the Pageboy to make their way to the lake where Princess Roger was being held captive. There they found the squid sunning itself in the shallows. It attacked, of course, because it knew that Sir Ryan was there to take away the person the squid was hoping to be its bride, but it was no match for Sir Ryan's bravery (and Matt the Pageboy, who was by this point so disgruntled with the whole thing that he ran over and began kicking the squid repeatedly in the side, which everyone knows is not only very painful but also very annoying) and soon the squid was vanquished.

There was now, of course, the trouble of how to get to the island. This problem was quickly solved when they found a tiny rowboat with "Enterprise" printed on the side and decided to borrow it. Sir Ryan made Matt the Pageboy help him row, which further annoyed the pageboy, but soon they had arrived at the island.

Princess Roger had seen the battle on the shore and knew that Sir Ryan was the one who had saved him. He had heard of King Dave's proclamation- perhaps the squid had communicated it to him, which would have been hard because squid cannot talk, or perhaps a little birdy had told him, which would have also been difficult, for much the same reason- and was trying to decide if he wanted to marry Sir Ryan or wait around for the next prince to arrive.

As Sir Ryan drew closer, Princess Roger decided he was cute and that he probably wouldn't mind being married to him.

Sir Ryan, of course, did not know about the princess's misleading title, and so when he and Princess Roger finally met, his first question was where could he find the princess because he needed to rescue her. Princess Roger was disappointed at this, because he had started to look forward to having Sir Ryan as his husband and now Sir Ryan would certainly want to marry someone whose title was not quite so misleading. He had no way of knowing, of course, that at that very instant Sir Ryan was thinking that this must be some other prisoner of the squid, and maybe he could rescue him too and marry him instead of the princess.

Eventually, Princess Roger and Matt the Pageboy were able to convince Sir Ryan that Roger was the princess, and they all climbed into the boat to return to shore.

When they finally made it back to SFGP9, King Dave and Queen Frank and the other members of the kingdom were happy to have Princess Roger back (and Queen Frank was very happy that his favorite pageboy had not been killed), though the peasants also felt slightly guilty that they had not rescued Princess Roger and let him stay on the island under the squid's care for a whole year.

King Dave was so happy that he held a feast, and for three days and nights there were festivities to be had. Over those three days and nights, Sir Ryan and Princess Roger got to know one another better, and decided they wouldn't mind being married, but that they didn't really want their own kingdom. At the end of the third night, they approached King Dave and told him this, and King Dave was actually very relieved that he wouldn't have to give up half of his kingdom, because it was actually a very small kingdom and it wasn't really big enough to share.

And so it was that Sir Ryan married Princess Roger and the two lived happily ever after.