Side Game: Dystopia

[http://users.livejournal.com/_samalander/]

In the world you are entering, there is a Federation. There is an Enterprise. There is even a Captain Kirk.

But in this world, they are not as you know them.

George Lowther, 27, is the captain of the pirate ship known throughout the galaxy as the Enterprise. Of course, he's not the real George Lowther, and neither was the man before him, a fellow called Chris Pike. They're in the process of trading the identity, so Pike can retire, having made his fortune. The new Lowther, real name James T. Kirk, has hired on a crew, and they're off on their first voyage, affiliated with the Federation of Interstellar Pirates.

So. How's the crew doing? And, of course, who's fucking?

Comments

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Pike, Christopher
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

Indeed. And I've heard the best about your work, so I can't wait to see how she'll be once you've cleaned her up.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

I don't really need anything right now, but if I ever do I'll let you know.

You'll be happy to know I'm almost to Engineering.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Pike, Christopher

Much obliged for the good words, sir. Aye, I'll take good care of her.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

I don't do weaponry, though, so ye know.

Take a left and head up the stairs when you get there. I'm in the back under where we strung up the fairy lights when the lighting panel got stripped for parts.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

I'll keep that in mind.

Got it.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Pike, Christopher
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

You're quite welcome. Glad to hear it.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

I take it by your face that you like strawberries?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

Don't have them at home. I got to try one once when I was a lad and got hold of them four times or so since.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

Well, if I ever get my hands on any more I'll be sure to get some to you.

What brings you to this ship?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

What for?

Most gorgeous lady in the universe.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

With the way your face just lit up? Wouldn't dream of doing anything else with them.

The ship I take? How long have you been with the Captain?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

That's thoughtful of you.

Right you are. She's the best thing I've ever seen.

Eh, just three weeks and a half, like everybody. Old crew pensioned off, new one hired on. I met the old engineer in a pub and he told me the ship was a beauty and Lowther was a fair man, so here I am.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

So you like ships and strawberries.

What was the last ship you were on?

You notice the captain shares a name with an ancient pirate from back when sea ships were still common?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

Doesn't everybody?

The Drunken Spaniard. Mid-size frigate, no propulsion system to speak of and the devil of a wiring job for the waste reclamation pumps. The privies shrieked whenever we hit the smallest ion concentration.

That so? My granda said a Monty Scott built ships for the Third World War on Earth. It happens.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

No. I got these beauties off of a guy who thought they were damn near worthless. And I don't know much about ships.

Sounds...challenging.

Is that what you by? Monty instead of Montgomery?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Scott, Montgomery
Recipient: Rand, Janice

Ridiculous. I'll give you a lesson right now.

Tetchy dump of a thing.

Mostly, aye.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Rand, Janice
Recipient: Scott, Montgomery

Really? Thanks.

But you loved her. I can see it on your face.

Mostly? So you go by something else sometimes?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: McKenna, Caroline
Recipient: Chapel, Christine

Nurse, if in a hypothetical world one was having ill-advised sex in the captain's craft closet and somehow got glitter in one's naughty bits, what would be the best way to remove it? Hypothetically? Without talking to the doctor?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Chapel, Christine
Recipient: McKenna, Caroline

In a hypothetical world I would just tell this someone to not have sex in craft closet.

But in the real world, I would tell this person that if they've tried conventional methods and still don't want to see the doctor, she could come down to my quarters and I could assist her. But she would owe me. A big favor.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: McKenna, Caroline
Recipient: Chapel, Christine

Well, in hypothetical retrospect the bit about not doing it would probably seem obvious, but the hypothetical horse would have left the hypothetical barn on that one.

What kind of favor?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Chapel, Christine
Recipient: McKenna, Caroline

Obviously. Hypothetically, of course.

Depends on how much glitter there is and how long I'm stuck picking it out of your bits.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: McKenna, Caroline
Recipient: Chapel, Christine

I think I can deal with that. I've taken like, 15 showers, it just still hurts somehow. Can someone be hypothetically allergic to glitter?

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Chapel, Christine
Recipient: McKenna, Caroline

Hypothetically, yes. Chances of it actually happening? Very slim. There's probably just a lot of irritation. I've got a few extra hypos in my quarters though, so if you need something I can dose you.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: McKenna, Caroline
Recipient: Chapel, Christine

Thanks, I'll come down. Nice to meet you, by the by. I'm Caroline.

[(Anonymous)]

Sender: Chapel, Christine
Recipient: McKenna, Caroline

Just doing my job. Nice to meet you I'm Christine.